August Melancholy

august (2)

Weighed down by August melancholy

As heavy as the humidity

Summer is slipping out of grasp

The roller coaster of the year poised on top of the track

To rush into autumn and holidays

And I’m not ready.

I want to savor the moments more

To redeem them, prove they weren’t worthless

The remnants of my dreams and projects surround me

Like the dried-out stalks and clinging blooms of my garden

I spent myself with so much hope

Bright days bursting with energy and ideas

I made great memories

But I’m also surrounded by shortcomings

The weeds out of control

The gullies left by summer downpours

My efforts feel small and ineffective.

Still, at times

When clouds block the sun

I garden in the coolness, and peace settles over me

The wind whips up, with prickles of rain

I sit on the sun porch watching hummingbirds thread the banana plant

And birds balance on the feeder

For a while

It’s enough.

My soul, let me go out

And dig my fingers deeply into the baked soil

To find the water, despite my fears it is gone

To reach through my disappointment for God’s goodness

That thriving, raw power of rebirth

To hear the whisper that the August is necessary

Part of the cycle

And hope is coming again.

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