It is so hard to not let things get to me, even the simple things. Last night I went to a party, and today I find myself going over what happened, asking myself if I should have done something differently. I discovered yesterday that the footage we shot on Monday was in standard definition instead of HD. I gave the correct instructions to the cameraman, but he didn’t understand. I feel terrible about it. All that work, and the piece won’t be what it needs to be.
When will I be able to really hold onto God and trust Him consistently at a gut level? When will I be able to be at peace consistently? I only have periods of trust and peace.
I need to fight much more for it. I need to slow down and put this all before God, and say, “This is not my day, it is Yours. Let me be silent before you and see how it unfolds, and appreciate each nuance along the way.”
I need to consult God about each thing that gets to me, so the underlying uneasiness doesn’t build. I think I’m too busy, but nothing is worth unresolved anxiety.
I’ve been reading more of “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voscamp.
“To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it,” Voscamp quotes.
By writing down what I am grateful for, I acknowledge the God given value of that thing. I move it from the realm of insignificance to significance.
Voscamp also wrote, “God is in the details. God is in the moment.”
God is present, all around me. But He is invisible, until He is manifested in the details as I acknowledge them.
I need to NAME things, thank God for the ways he is in the details, to reveal that God IS there. It reminds me of one of those games where you slowly remove pieces to be able to make out the picture that is behind them.
God is there, earnestly working, so close, so loving.
(Jesus) sighed deeply and said, “Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to it.”
Jesus said this after he had just performed a miracle with loaves and fishes. The Pharisees came and asked him for a sign.
And I realize that I want a sign too. If I could plainly KNOW that God is with me, maybe things wouldn’t get to me so much. I constantly want to see Him as bigger, more miraculous, more evident, more present.
But no highly visible sign will be given me. Instead, God fills my life with small signs, with miracles, as He is manifested in the details. I just have to name them to see them, manifest them thanksgiving.
Thank you, God, for carving out a little time for me this morning. Thank you that I got the presents wrapped and in the mail. Thank you for the moments of enjoying life, of enjoying my friendship with Marge, of the laughter and conversations at the party last night. Thank you for my husband leaning over to give me a kiss.
Now God is being revealed. He not only IS here, he is LARGE, miraculous, powerful.
And then I want the naming to reveal Him more in what will happen in the future, through faith. Is there a way to pray for things that makes God more real? If I pray aloud for something, with thanksgiving, is it the same as naming? I think it is. By thanking God as I pray, I acknowledge that He is working. I tear away the darkness of fear that blinds me, the fear that things won’t work out, and God looms large around me, ever expanding His kingdom of light and goodness.
Faith is the SUBSTANCE of things hoped for. Faith reveals the solidity of God.
This week conjoined twins were born in a neighboring county. They each had a head, but shared a body and a heart.
It could have seems like a sad, tragic thing. But the parents chose to NAME God in what happened, and meet it with faith. “Why did God send two beautiful angels like this to Earth with one heart” the father asked. He went on to say that it is a lesson to us all. “(God) is not happy with the way we’re treating our brothers . . . We’ve got to be good to one another and love one another, as they did.”
I am not sure that is why the twins were born. None of us know what God is doing. Things go wrong. We don’t feel adequate to the task. And we don’t know why.
But we can do like the twin’s father, and NAME that God is still there, even when we can’t see him. Even when things go wrong.
Let us NAME God through words of faith. Let us reveal Him through words of thanksgiving.