I realized recently that my hands are not open to receive because I am too intent on what I am “supposed” to be doing. It becomes all about me, and less about God, even as I’m focused on serving Him. I am so busy trying to make things happen, do the right thing, that I am not open to what GOD is doing in this situation. The very thing I seek is the thing that stands in my way.
“The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing.” John 5:19
So much of this stems from my insecurity. I am constantly trying to validate myself. But Christianity doesn’t exist so we can validate ourselves. It is all to glorify God.
I think the solution here is to be thankful more. Being thankful puts me in communion with God. It makes me receptive. It creates interactions, instead of actions.
He who offers thanksgiving is he who will glorify me;
there I shall show him the way of the salvation of our God.
Ps 50:23, Arabic Bible in Plain English
When I am thankful, it becomes about God and His glory. When I am thankful, God shows me what HE is doing, the road for me to walk that day.
I need to open my hands and let life happen more, just enjoy the smiles on the faces, be able to appreciate the little foibles that make each person special.
A woman who lived a sinful life in that city found out that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So she took a bottle of perfume and knelt at his feet. She was crying and washed his feet with her tears. Then she dried his feet with her hair, kissed them over and over again, and poured the perfume on them. . . Luke 7:37,38
I need to come back to Jesus like this woman, like the grateful leper. He is the only source. Nothing brings real change and healing but him.
As I told a friend who is seeking ago, Jesus is the one who chose me, who took a bullet for me, who is at my side, longing to present me radiant. I forget this. I forget him. I need to come back to him time and time again, be rich towards him as the sinful woman was.
I have to lose my life to save it. I have to stop trying to validate myself. Instead of acting, I need to react. I need to GIVE thanks. THIS is how I am rich towards God, recognizing how rich He is to me, and falling at the feet of Jesus, overflowing with appreciation.
Perhaps what is more true is that I will receive from God, not based on what I do, but based on my thankfulness for what He is doing.
Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure–pressed down, shaken together, and running over–will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. Luke 6:38