Sometimes in life I see something clearly that I didn’t see before.
What I have seen lately is that my life is SO much about me. There are many times when I don’t feel good. I’m getting a lot of experience with pushing through. And as I’ve examined the motivation I use to push through, I’ve realized that it is for my glory, not God’s. I have this standard for myself of maintaining a certain level of productivity. I am not happy when I fall short.
This is pride. This is selfish ambition.
The pride takes the form of insecurity. I focus so much on what I think I am supposed to be. The pride takes the form of jealousy. I want glory for myself.
So I’ve gone back to a mind blowing quote that always helps put things into perspective.
“Give thanks for every weakness, fault and imperfection you have. Accept it as a favor of God. Remember if God has chosen to shrink your swelling pride, he has made it that much easier to enter the narrow way.” Jeremy Taylor
My pride is not just a pesky character fault I’m dealing with. It is huge heavy baggage that impedes my relationship with God and my growth towards holiness.
Taylor uses this passage in his devotional to accompany his quote:
“When Jesus noticed how the guests always chose the places of honor. So he used this illustration when he spoke to them: ‘When someone invites you to a wedding, don’t take the place of honor. Maybe someone more important than you was invited. Then your host would say to you, ‘Give this person your place.’ Embarrassed, you would have to take the place of least honor. 1So when you’re invited, take the place of least honor. Then, when your host comes, he will tell you, ‘Friend, move to a more honorable place.’ Then all the other guests will see how you are honored. Those who honor themselves will be humbled, but people who humble themselves will be honored.'” Luke 14:7-11
Oh man. Those who honor themselves will be humbled. That is me. I try to work on my pride, but it is slippery. I think I am getting a handle on it, only to find out I am deceived.
So I want to say only one thing all day long: SEEK HIS GLORY. Seek HIS honor, not mine.
This time in my life has brought out to me how hard it is for me to not be able to accomplish things. I have many works I would like to do to advance God’s kingdom. I can put a lot of pressure on myself to get these things done.
But these things will not validate me. Only God can validate me.
If God wants me to get something to get done, if it is His will, He will enable me to do it. This must be my peace.
May His will be done. May He become greater and I become less. May His glory increase always. Amen.